My Worst Mistake
by Cho Koume
Summary: What I think Tsuzuki was thnking in book 2 when he and Hisoka were staying with Hisae Tojyo. It's dramatic, romantic, and tragic. It's a rule to not fall for the one your'e supposed to kill... can Tsuzuki resist?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami No Matsuei or the characters, or the story line, or the characters… Oh, wait… did I say that already? Hmmm… 

My Worst Mistake

For some reason, I couldn't stop drinking that night. It wasn't that I was depressed, or that work was too hard that day… it was just a feeling that told me to keep going. I knew I would get yelled at when I went in to work the next morning, but I just didn't care. Though, unlike most nights, when I came to the bar alone to wallow in self-pity, I had company.

Hisoka wasn't allowed in the bar because of how he looked, but the bar owner knew me, and I pulled some strings to get in. Despite my hard efforts, Hisoka was still reluctant to enter. I had told him we should hang out, but he wasn't a very friendly person, sometimes, and so getting him to come with me was very difficult. Thing was, I didn't want to be alone that night. When I went to his house hours earlier, he wasn't doing much of anything. Hisoka didn't have a tv, which I thought was a nightmare, but he had lots of books. He was reading when I entered.

He yelled at me for coming by without calling first, but let me in, nevertheless. He always acted tough, but I think he wanted company, too. So, as he continued reading, I sat next to him on the couch. He lied. He said he was reading a very interesting book, but then, why did he not appear interested at all? Aside form that, he kept peering over at me as I sat there with a bored expression. Finally, he sighed and set his book down on the table and stared at me, trying not to look annoyed.

"Why are you here?"

"Hisoka, lets go out and do stuff!"

Two hours later, we were sitting in the third bar we had come by that night. Well, Hisoka was sitting; I was sort of drunk, so I was more slouchy than sitty. Hee hee… funny words! Anyway, as I drank to my heart's content, Hisoka just sat there reading the book her brought along with him. I offered him a sip, but he glared and hit me on the head. It sure woke me up a little more, but that was easily fixed with another drink of the bar's strongest booze.

I didn't know why I wanted to drink so much… Or, have I already said that? Well, it didn't matter. The damage was already done, and my head hurt like hell. Sometimes, having Hisoka with me at the bar took away all the fun of being drunk. Whenever I started to get to the happy faze, he would hit me or nudge my arm, reminding me that I was a grown man.

Am I really? I mean, I look like one, but I don't act like one, at least when others were around. Sometimes, when I'm alone with Hisoka, some parts of my mask would fall down, and he would get a look at the real me. But, I was quick to put the mask back on, and to feign ignorance. Thing was, I was afraid of what people would think of me. It's just easier to make people think I was just some loser shinigami who eats too much. That was enough for the time being. But I get the feeling, every now and then, that I'm not fooling my new partner at all.

Whenever I drink, it's harder to keep my mask up, and I had to try not to let myself go so Hisoka doesn't see the real me. I'm a bad man, sometimes… I've done some horrible things in my life and afterlife, and when I drink, I'm reminded of that. Also, I often look around me and see couples. I never had a girlfriend, even though I've always wanted one. It's sad… but now, it's impossible for me to get one. I would only end up hurting her and myself. You know, Tatsumi was talking to me once… he said that when I think of these things and drink, I'm purposely trying to do myself mental harm. Does he think I'm some masochist? Well, it doesn't matter.

My face is lying down against the bar top, and it's cold compared to my flushed cheek. I was getting warmer by the minute but my only concern was trying to relieve the tension in my temple. That night, I must have tested the waters a little. Usually I'd only have a few cups and then bring a bottle of Sake home for later, not that I actually would get into it until almost a week after bringing it home. But that night, I must have practically cleaned out two of the three bars. I was tired, but I knew I wouldn't get any sleep. I was sick, but no amount of stomach pills would ease my nausea. I was lonely, but there was someone right next to me, who… at the time, was shaking my shoulder.

Slowly, as to not further hurt my head, I turned to the other side, letting my other burning cheek soak up the coolness, and looked up at my partner. He looked both annoyed and worried at the same time. I have no idea now that was even possible, but he was doing it. My vision wavered a little, but I felt him reach out and lightly touch my forehead. I felt a little better after that, even though he scolded me the second his hand retracted. He walked me home, and I guess he didn't leave until after I managed to convince him I had fallen asleep. I heard the front door click shut, and then my eyes opened once more. It was going to be one of those nights… I was alone, but not just in my head. There was an emptiness which couldn't be filled up, no matter who I was with. Wishing for something I could never have, because I was dead…hell, maybe I am a masochist. But, hey… who wouldn't want to know what it was like to fall in love?


	2. Chapter 2

Needless to say, my boss wasn't very pleased with me when I walked into his office the next morning, half-asleep and riding first class on the hangover express. I knew he was yelling at me, but I couldn't hear exactly what about. It could have been about how I walked in, looking all disheveled. Or, seeing the look on his subordinate, Tatsumi's, face, it could have been about me going from bar to bar and spending company money.

The more he yelled, the more my head hurt. Weakly, I held my head and tried to calm the chief down, but he wasn't having it. I ended up having to lean on Hisoka's shoulder to keep from falling down, and I even begged for his help in defending me. Being the truth-telling kid he was, he didn't help me at all. He told the truth, and that only made the chief angrier with me. I couldn't get two words in after that.

Still, it wasn't like he had all day to yell at me, thankfully, and he instructed that Tatsumi begin the meeting. While he started talking about the new target, some girl, Hisoka actually did me a favor and helped me to a chair. Thing was, it was a spinning chair, and I couldn't resist turning it around a few times! heart Hisoka stood strait up, unlike lazy old me, and acted like some military officer or something. Maybe it was just because he was a big suck-up, though, I know that it's best to start off on the right foot when it came to the chief. He can be a really scary guy…!

Tatsumi, who almost always seemed to go easy on me, despite my stupid acts, cut me a break, and spoke as calmly and quietly as he could. I was glad he wasn't yelled at for trying to lessen my blow. Because of Tatsumi's quietness, I could feel my headache start to clear up enough to hear what the case was about. And once I started paying attention, the more I could feel myself growing sad.

Our target, Hisae Tojyo was so young, only 18, and she had been ill for a long time. She should have died a while ago, and I felt sorry for her. To continue living when you were meant to pass on is tough; I know. After a while of living like that, you start to feel years older than you are. You get weaker by the day, and your soul often feels stretched thin. On top of that, she had a strange sickness to make her feel even more weak, and complicates life even more so. It's a miserable way top live, and I sympathized with her.

Hisoka looked over at me for a moment before he was handed the girl's file. He took it and started sifting through the files. When I was about to swing the chair around again, Tatsumi walked over, looking very irritated and stepped on a little lever at the bottom of the chair. It wouldn't move after that. Not wanting to have him yell at me, but not feeling well enough to get up and stand next to my partner, I leaned over the back of the chair and looked at the file over Hisoka's shoulder.

Apparently, she was an orphan. She and her brother had lived alone together for a number of years, but he had recently died in an accident. It was sad… during that hard time, when Hisae was going through her roughest moments, she was alone. Again, I sympathized with her, and I really was not looking forward to taking that case. But, with my record, and a debt for this and that, I was in no position to refuse. The room fell silent for quite some time.

In an attempt to relieve the built-up tension forming around all of us, I made a little joke. She had checked herself out of the hospital not too long ago, and I merely stated a fact, that the food sucked. Trust me, I've spent enough time in hospitals to know that. Unfortunately, no one else thought it was funny, and my own boss karate chopped me in the head! He constantly brags about his black belt, and never passes up the chance to show off his skills. I only wish he would stop picking me to use as a dummy, despite how I act most of the time.

As Tatsumi got me an ice pack for my, now, even more aching, head, the chief continued to brief Hisoka on the mission, and then we were dismissed. I managed to stumble my way to the hallway, and, much to my surprise, as soon as the door closed on us, he grabbed my arm and led me out.

I had never seen Hisoka so helpful before; at least, not willingly, and especially when it came to helping me! It was nice of him… but it wouldn't be the last nice thing he would do, I was sure of it!


	3. Chapter 3

As a shinigami, it is my job to make trips down to the mortal world carrying summons

As a shinigami, it is my job to make trips down to the mortal world, carrying summons. A summon is a notice that someone is meant to be dead, instead of alive, sort of. The saddest part of our job is, though it is amazing how someone can stave off death in hope, those people aren't meant to live, and we have to end their lives, and sometimes bring them back to the underworld with us. When I died, I didn't think there would be another chance for me to live any form of life, but becoming a shinigami wasn't that bad a move. I got to walk around the mortal world, I had a job, money, and companions. Still, it was a lonely job, though slightly less so now that I had a good partner with me.

Although… none of us are without our secrets. I found out just a short while ago about Hisoka's past, and it really shocked me. He was born with an amazing ability, but to his parents and himself, it was more like a curse. Because of his sensitivity to psychic activity and the emotions of other people, he was treated so badly… I feel sorry for him.

…!

Oops. Hisoka had been talking again. Something about a location or….something? Anyway, he had stopped in front of a large building- not extravagent, but large, and looked up. This was it… the start of the case I wanted to avoid. But, there was nothing we could do to get out of it, so I had no choice. I was to introduce myself as a friend of her late brother's. got it. But…

--

As they neared the front gate of the residence, Tsuzuki stopped. Hisoka hadn't expected him to do that, and stood confused for a moment. Reading into Tsuzuki's emotions, he felt hesitation, fear, frustration, and a little hint of something hidden behind that wall of his. He'd noticed it there since the very beginning, but even then, he couldn't bring himself to ask about it. Then, just as the silence was becoming uncomfortable, Tsuzuki spoke.

"You wait here." Surprising again!

"She lives alone. We don't want to scare her."

"Okay." Hisoka agreed, without argument. The idea seemed rational, but Hisoka had to have the last word.

"Don't do anything weird." Tsuzuki almost fell down.

"I wont!!"

With a sigh and a blush, Tsuzuki walked off to the from door. He knocked a few times, but there was no answer. There were, however, risen voices coming through from the inside. He immediately became defensive, but more than that, he was curious. Blinking a few times, he decided to take a peek inside without permission.

"Hello? Excuse me…"

For his intrusion, Tsuzuki received a potted plant to the chin. He hit the ground hard, dazed for a while, and when he looked up he saw what was happening in the main hall. There were two women arguing, somewhat ironically, about a partner. At first he didn't understand, until a man about his age crawled up to him.

"It's better to stay still… wait them out." He said in a hushed tone. He must have been the partner the girls were arguing about. Thinking back through his hung-over haze, Tsuzuki recalled the chief saying something about the location and a school, or…something? He didn't remember exactly. But soon enough, the room quieted down and one of the women left with the other man whom had warned me, and as the remaining woman began to calm down, Tsuzuki quietly rose to his feet.

'That must be our target…'

"Um… Hisae…?" At the sound of his voice, the woman jumped and quickly turned her head around to face him.

"Is that you…?!"

--

The look in her eyes as she looked around at me was unmistakable… she had such lonely eyes- eyes I know only too well- and desperation was practically steaming off of her. The way she looked at me, as if she had been waiting for me, or someone who sounded like me…. It made me feel sad, but also surprised. I jumped at her quick actions, and I almost stuttered after she spoke. …Am I who?

--

"Uh, I… don't think so…"

After getting a look at his face, her expression changed, and a look of annoyance appeared as she questioned him, actually thinking he was some sort of salesman. He pouted out loud before finally getting her attention and explaining himself. He had to try hard to stick to the story and make up as much as he could as not to get caught. But thanks to the file on her brother, he was able to convince her. With a sigh, she sat down and poured him some tea.

"One of my brother's friends from Tokyo?" She thought about it. "You know, you sound like him." Tsuzuki paid almost no mind to the tea, and focused on observing Hisae's reactions. She was obviously still broken up over her brother's passing, and she hugged her arms.

" I still can't believe he's dead… I mistook you for him earlier. Sorry." Tsuzuki's guess had been right.

"No need to apologize. It's understandable." Time to start questioning her.

"So… those people?"

"Oh THEM!" She scoffed, angrily. "One of my students, Shiori Kano… and my former partner Nitta." She then started to vent, and Tsuzuki began feeling even more sorry for her. Good thing Hisoka stayed outside, otherwise his empathy would be driving him nuts, the brunette thought to himself before remembering the tea in front of him.

He picked up the little cup and brought it to his lips before calmly saying, "That's awful," and taking a drink. Hisae agreed and rested her chin in her palm as she watched this beautiful stranger. Yes, he was lovely… she couldn't help but stare at his strong physique and his deep expression. Even if he was a little clumsy and dense, it was better than nothing, and quite boldly she found herself leaning across the table to grab hold of this beautiful stranger's tie. The movement surprised Tsuzuki, and he blinked at her.

"It's "Tsuzuki," right? Ever done any ballroom dancing?"

"Huh…?"

--

Going back outside to explain himself to Hisoka proved somewhat of a hassel, as the boy seemed slightly irritated that his partner would have been, dare he say it, threatened into living with their target to DANCE. The only word he could think to utter after that was-

"IDIOT." Hisoka started to lecture the man, and he would have gotten somewhere, had a big not just have come out of nowhere to tackle Tsuzuki to the ground. At first, Hisoka was surprised, then defensive… but with the way it was licking Tsuzuki, it didn't seem dangerous. Although, Hisoka wasn't used to dogs…

"Hey! He likes people!" Way to state the obvious.

"Will!" Shouted a woman from right behind them. Hisoka turned, and wouldn't you know it, there was their target, Hisae." Where you been, boy?"

Will, the blood hound that had tackled Tsuzuki, was indeed Hisae's, although he previously belonged to her passed sibling.

"Frankly, he doesn't often show interest in people." She admitted.

"It must be my pure heart." Tsuzuki said, making Hisoka roll his eyes at him.

"Maybe it's your age." He teased. But he'd forgotten one thing in that short span of time relating to their case- he didn't fit in anywhere just yet. He was made painfully aware of that as Hisae came up close to him and asked who he was. Tsuzuki, who was right behind him, started silently freaking out, and it didn't help Hisoka's mood any. But still, as calmly as he could, Hisoka introduced himself as Tsuzuki's younger brother, and was quick to be welcomed to stay with them.

That's how they became part of the short life of Hisae Tojyo.


End file.
